If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
