Walk of Shame. In a state park.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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