just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
