I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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