escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
