Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
