he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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