i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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