Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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