We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
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He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
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Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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