there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."