Joe is yelling at the trees again.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
