For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
