Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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