do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
