We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
