Whod you bang
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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