please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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