I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
