We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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