RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My vagina is very pro this idea
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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