He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
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I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
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Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Pooping to opera.
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