reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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