Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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