Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
