sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
