we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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