He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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