Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
