We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
