how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
