i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
