We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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