She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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