Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
