I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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