Can i not drive my cunt home
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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