I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
