i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
