I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
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