I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
