She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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