sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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