You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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