when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She's the barista slut.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
