OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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