Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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