My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
