i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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