Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just want nice things and good sex
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
