I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
