No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
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Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
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Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
so much tequila, so little girl.
i need some magic done to my vagina
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The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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