Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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