when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
someone owes me an orgasm
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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