I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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