You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
